so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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