i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
