real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I understand Curling. That high.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
