don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
