Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
