I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
