Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
