This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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