Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
