my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
