6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
