hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
