Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Be still, my beating vagina.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
