before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
