You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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