I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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