hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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