hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
