I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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