WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
