I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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