i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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