I'm gonna have a badass scar
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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