Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
