No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
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