The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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