that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
