i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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