Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
