Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
