I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
