both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
