how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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