News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
