Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
