haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
