I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
