so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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