I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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