Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
a search helicopter?!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
