We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
