True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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