maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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