Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
