thus making me awesome and them whores
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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