Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Text me some of your sweat
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
