wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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