All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
