i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this boner is exhausting
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
