It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
