dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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