She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's shark week go big or go home
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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