Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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