oh god the rape fog is back!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
