I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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